I Have Seen The Light

After four days of having no internet connection (our phoneline was truncated during a sudden storm) I have gained all the pounds (must have been at least two if my imagination is to be believed) I lost!!

Why? What does a jobless person when she doesn’t have a job, her boyfriend has a job, the TV is being invaded by aliens, there is no job to look forward to, the phone is cut off, there is food *everywhere*, the job offers aren’t pouring yet, the bed is oh so soft and warm, and did I mention, she is waiting for a job to drop down from the sky and take her away from all this madness?!?!?

Nothing. Nothing but eat and sleep. Sleep, eat. Eat, sleep. Eat sleep eat sleep eat sleep eat.

After a while your world turns dark and you find yourself asking deep dark questions like, “What is the meaning of life?” “What is my purpose here on earth?” “What lies beyond death?” “Are we living in a matrix???”

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

And then suddenly, a ray of light shines into your life. There’s a wonderful man knocking at your door, asking to see you. You open the door and it feels as if light emanates from his very being. He smiles shyly. You feel warm and giddy all over. Your smile reaches your eyes, you eyes twinkle excitedly, and you welcome him, usher him in, telling him you’ve been waiting for him for so long, and it is so good to see him…

With his deep dark gutter-y baritone, he says, “Hey… can I fix your phone?”

“My hero!!!!!!!!!”