It’s really starting to become my newest pet peeve. I log into my gmail account and start reading my email. But then at the corner of my eye I can see a blue bordered single-celled table that whispers sneakily: “Give Gmail to: [text box] Send invite. 48 left.”
My mind wills my eyes to stay put on my email, but where the mind is willing, the flesh is weak. (Or, in this case, the visual organ.) My eyes stray to the blue borders. “Noooo….” My mind wails, but my eyes have a mind of their own, and they LOOK.
48 left. Send invite.
But *who* will I send it to? My body shivers. Nobody wants one! I have nobody to send it to! My knees tremble. Nobody’s emailed me yet. And I’ve advertised it so much Google’s gotta start paying me for all my trouble!
Oh, no. Does that mean I lack friends? Is nobody emailing me because I am a friendless geek? I feel my mind start crowding with insecurities. Why am I friendless? Am I ugly? Is that it? Is that why I don’t have friends? Omigod, am I too nerdy? Maybe nobody understands me! Or, no no, maybe I am so self absorbed that I have forgotten there is a world out there that does not revolve around me? NOOOOO…….
I start shaking my head to and fro and mumble incoherently. I start to feel that maybe I am becoming autistic. (Hey — that really means “highly intelligent but socially, ehrm…”) Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my head. It is a book that has fallen off the shelf onto my head. Ouch. But that’s good. I have regained my sanity. So I start browsing through my email again. But then, that blue-bordered single cell starts to tempt my eyes again…. and then the madness starts all over again.
So. If you want to help Flisha become sane again, you *must* help me get rid of that blue-bordered single-celled table on the right side of my Gmail. Please. Email me as soon as possible. I don’t want to die crazy.