Eggs for Age

I tried my bestest to block out the screams of the 4 year old as I tried to staunch the bleeding wound in his leg. No sooner had I wiped off the blood when it sprang back out, two perfect holes spouting gobs of dark burgundy life. The boy apparently got too close to a neighboring dog’s territory who promptly chased him down and took a bite out of his chubby leg. I turned to the mother, who looked young enough to be browsing an Apidexin review, and instructed her to have her son injected with an anti-rabies vaccine just to be safe.

Me: Kailangan po natin bigyan ung anak nyo ng anti-rabies (I think we need to give him anti-rabies shots.)

Distraught Mother: Kailangan nya ba talaga yun? (Does he really need that?)

Me (struggling to control the child while putting pressure on the wound): Kailangan na kailangan nya po! Hindi po tau nakakasiguro na walang rabies yung aso. Nakakamatay po ang rabies. (Of course he does! We can’t be too sure that dog hasn’t got rabies. Rabies kills, you know.)

Distraught Mother: Oh, OK. (then as an after thought) Pero…OK lang ba yun kahit sa eggs nya? (But…would that be OK even for his eggs?)

Me (puzzled): Ano po yun? (Come again,please?)

Distraught Mother: Sa eggs nya. Ok lang ba magbigay ng injection sa eggs nya? (His eggs. Would it be alright to give him an injection on his eggs?)

Me (more puzzled): Ha? Missis, hindo po tau nagbibigay ng injection sa itlog nya. Sa braso nya po yun ginagawa. (But ma’am we give the injection in his arm and not on his balls.)

Distraught Mother (puzzled): Umm…hindi po, ibig kong sabihin, ok lang ba bigyan sya ng injection sa edad nya…you know, Ehy-ge (tries to pronounce “AGE” more clearly).

Realization hit me. She meant ‘age’, and NOT eggs! Omg. I blushed as the nurses assisting me broke out in howls of laughter.

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