I had six patients die on me today. Two were already dead when they were wheeled into the ER. Two were still alive but barely (One came in extreme pain, and was vomiting his guts out. He died while the nurses were hooking him up to a cardiac monitor. One died right in front of me as I was frantically prepping to intubate). And the other two made it to the ward only to die a short time later. The last one was only 20 years old. Guess this post qualifies as an appetite suppressant.

It sucks having people die on you. I guess what bothers me is not my inability to save them (sadly, most were beyond saving), but how these deaths did not affect me that much. It’s as if they just become numbers. Another figure in a daily census.

Mortality tally for the day: 6.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself that these are real people I’m dealing with. Real lives.

*sigh*

Why do I need reminding?

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