It’s a pain in the butt, sometimes, having a drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend (but no, I’m not kinky enough to mean this literally). Don’t get me wrong, it has its ups, mostly when I have him all to myself, cuddling and kissing. But it also has its downs, like having to cope with the many admirers my boyfriend has entranced over the years.
A few hours ago, having just watched the War of the Worlds, Gimmi and I were crossing the street. Three women walk towards us from the opposite end, all smiling admiringly at my boyfriend. I raise an eyebrow at Gimmi, and he laughs and shrugs innocently. Minutes later, as we are walking down the street, a van passes us by and a girl (who looks like an air-headed socialite) waves cheerily and shouts, “Hello!” directly at my boyfriend, who, again, looks seemingly baffled.
Coincidence? Read on.
Congruently, Gimmi’s brother GP (a college freshie) reports that his high school English instructor (now studying Medicine along with my boyfriend, but why she decided to change careers I do not know) approached him while he was studying in the library. She decided to interrogate her former student about his older brother. Such conversation ensued:
M (or whatever-her-name-is): GP, do you have an older brother in Medical School?
GP: Ah, yes, ma’am, why?
M: Oh, nothing, a friend is asking.
GP: Ows, ma’am lumang style na yan…
M: (laughs uncomfortably) No, really… Anyway, may girlfriend na ba siya?
GP: Yes, ma’am, he does.
M: Ah… Seryoso ba?
GP: Well, malapit na yung magpakasal, ma’am, eh.
M: Ah, ganun ba, ah, ok. Sige thanks ha.
The nerve! She even had the audacity to ask if Gim was serious about me. Obvious ba? You hardly ever see that boy outside the classroom without me by his side. Grrr. Makes me so mad! And that’s not all.
Gim was casually talking to his classmates a few days ago. A medical student 2 years their senior appears, and sees my boyfriend. As she passes them by, she beams and calls out to Gim, “Uy, campus crush ka daw o!” Immediately, his classmates erupt in a chorus of giggles and catcalls.
Gim hotly blushes to the tips of his ears and negates the comment, saying, “Heh! Anu-anong sinasabi niyo dyan! Puro kasinungalingan!” The schoolmate only grins and strides off into the distance.
Gim turns to his classmates and says, “Lasang man kamo!” Conversely, they look at him with a surprised stare and say earnestly, “No, Gim, it’s true. You really are the campus crush!”
Now, whenever I tease my boyfriend about these events, he denies everything and adamantly insists that he is NOT as gorgeous as I say he is. ‘Course I say the opposite. He really is so goodlooking. I dare anybody to say otherwise (don’t even try, I will spear you from nostril to butthole with a splintered piece of wood!). But he can’t see it even when he’s staring right at the mirror. (Wierdly, other times he gets these bouts of egolomaniancy [is there such a term, doc?] when he thinks he’s the reincarnated Adonis.)
I don’t know if other girls encounter this issue with their boyfriends. Me, I get so insecure I tell Gimmi I am totally gonna replace him with somebody really ugly so I don’t ever have to have competition. (Nobody compares to me, he says. Yeah right, he just doesn’t want to be spanked.) I back this up with the universal truth that in a relationship, it is usually the less attractive partner who commits an act of infidelity as a way to cope with his/her insecurities. (Do you hear that, Heids? So totally true in the case of you and your ugly ex!) Of course, Gimmi insists that I am the more attractive one in this relationship. (But I don’t need to make a survey to disprove this, as I have threatened more than once.)
I’m a real bitch when I wanna be. Gim gets really scared I might stray, especially since I’m the one sacrificing my dreams (ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration) to be with him for four years of schooling, another four years for his scholarship payback service and perhaps countless more years for his specializations, when I could go anywhere I wanted to. (The truth, though, is that I can only be happy where my Gimmi is.) Oh, if only I had a fan club like he does!
But anyway, I should be thankful my Gimmi has pledged his life to me, and is not the type who would ever look at another woman. That’s the guy who was in the process of choosing a celibacy-required profession until he met me.
Thank you, God! Thank you, Gimmi! And thank goodness for my hot cuerpo! (Hihihi, joke only.)
Perhaps you’re wondering about the title of this post, well, I am dedicating this song (I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred) to my darling:
I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me
I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I’m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
And I’m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I’m disco dancing
I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that
I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
I’m too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my
‘Cos I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me
And I’m too sexy for this song
Ain’t it appropriate??? Oh and by the way, since I started posting comics last time, I will continue it now. Enjoy your life!
Related posts
Bound illustrations:
