Love Hurts!

Almost everyone has pined for someone they love. I have. I met a girl more than three years ago and it was love at first sight. She was sitting there, her hair flowing like silk, alabaster skin glowing with its own unearthly radiance. She batted her eyelashes and looked at me as if I were the most fascinating creature in the entire world. She twirled her hair, pouted her lips, crooked her long, slender finger. I was in cloud nine! Birds were chirping, flowers were blooming, and bells were ringing in my head. I was determined right there and then to impress her. I was going to show her what I got. I was going to turn her on. Right there I made a speech for her. I told her how her beauty surpassed that of Aphrodite. Told her how my heart raced when I am near her. Told her how I would sell my soul for her.

Alas! I failed. Miserably. My futile attempts at impressing this heavenly goddess managed to elicit only a disdainful smile. Nice try, Romeo. But failure only spurred me to try harder. And try harder I did. I sent her flowers everyday, spent my lunch money on chocolates, wrote her sentimental cards. I soon became a regular at Chocolate Treasures. Family and friends asked me why I seemed to be getting so thin. I only smiled in reply and mumbled “Who can eat when one is in love?”. For in love I was. Gradually, my efforts paid off. *She* noticed me. She started hanging out with me, started talking to me, allowed me to go shopping with her. My past failures didn’t seem to matter anymore. And then, the unthinkable happened…

I thought I had her love, thought she saw me the way I saw her. Thought we shared the beating of one heart. But No! it was not to be. The virginal goddess saw me as a sibling! A younger brother who made her laugh, and brightened her day. I was *crushed*. So crushed was I that I decided to jump off a pier and drown myself. I pined for her. Pined for the one I love.

Luckily… As I was thinking my morose thoughts, intent on ending my life-long suffering, the impossible became possible. Incest was committed! With her eyes dancing like Egyptian serpents, her mouth partly open like the Nile, She kissed me. Devoured my lips, carressed my cheeks, enveloped me in a breath taking, cardiac-arrest causing, coma inducing, passionate embrace. And the rest is history.