Got a Funny Feeling…

She loves me. Or so I thought. I mean, we still make out and get passionate most of the time. Yet, there’s a coldness in her eyes and a certain rigidity in her smile that tells me that maybe…just maybe…

It all started around two weeks ago. We were out on another jaunt along the East Coast. Destination: Vitali. There were no problems on the way, save for a few grunts from our trusty (?) Pao-Pao.

We were greeted by spectacular views of imposing mountains, lush green valleys, sparkling calm seas and even a flock of white birds.

The trouble began as we were riding home. She offered to drive and I let her (you can’t blame me, I love her!). She was wearing a helmet, I was not.

Suddenly, in a momentary flash of bravado, she let go of one of the handlebars and WHAM! Total darkness. The last thing I remember was the concrete pavement of Putik rushing right up to meet me. The first thing I thought was “Wow, so concrete really is hard”.

Well, we were OK. Thankfully. I just used the left side of my face to sweep the pavement so aside from a nasty scrape along that area, I was fine. She sustained an abrasion on her arm and shoulders. And we both had bruises all over our bodies. But nothing serious. Although I couldn’t say the same for pao-pao.

It was in the hospital that I thought I heard her mutter, “Sayang!” as the doctor declared me fit as a bull. I wondered why, but didn’t give it much thought.

Exactly one week later. We were cruising along Campaner street. Pao-pao was still missing his chain guard. I told her to take extra care with the unguarded chain ’cause her pants or anything for that matter could get tangled up with the chain and that we could end up in the pavement again.

I had just said it when RRRIP! That was definitely the sound of cloth being ripped. I turned around and she was smiling sweetly and sheepishly as she said, “Oooops, soweee Gimmi”. Then she batted her eyelashes. I just stared at her open-mouthed.

Later that night, I couldn’t help but get that funny feeling that maybe, just maybe she doesn’t love me anymore. Why? I mean it’s obvious! Aside from the two “accident” attempts, there was this time when she slammed my head into a steel post! I’m serious! First she asked me if I trusted her. I said I did. Then she she told me to close my eyes. So I did. Then she she led me by the hand until THUNK! I had a bump the size of a guava on my forehead for two whole days.

She also tells me how delicious I look. No, not tn the way you think. She often muses out loud how I would taste like roasted. ROASTED, mind you. So is that the reason she stuffs me with food everytime I go to their place. Is she fattening me up!? Not to mention the time where she hugs me so tight. I think she tries to suffocate me everytime she does that.

Sigh. I love her. She knows I do. But sometimes…to qoute wierd Al, “Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me any more”. I guess I better dedicate this song to her…

You Don’t Love Me Anymore

We’ve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what’s wrong?
Seems you don’t want me around
The passion is gone and the flame’s died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I’m the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You’re still the light of my life
Oh darling, I’m beggin’, won’t you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that I’m ugly and you say that I’m cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn’t like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don’t love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore…

Comments

  1. gimmi! ur crazy!! i didn’t say “sayang” or “oops, sowee, gimmi” !! in fact i was very polite and regretful! ur making me sound so awful! ur so bad!

    and about the chain and my jacket getting tangled – it was sooo an accident! i forgot that u had taken away the chainguard!

    and about the trust-me-thingy, well i just wanted to show u that u shouldnt trust people too much to the point of being stupid! (not even me hehehe)

    and about the highway accident – i didnt just let go of the handlebars because i wanted to – i just well um wanted to try it coz u always do it ALL THE TIME!!!

    do i sound defensive? well ah um…

    I LOVE YOU GIM!!!!!

    (and im gonna kill u if u think otherwise)

  2. *OUCH! Stop beating me up,love* see what I mean dear readers? as of this comment, my beautiful, wonderful gf is busily punching my arm, bashing my head, and choking the life outta me…eeeech! loooovveeeee! somebody heeeeelpppp!!!

  3. Hehe. Gim, you’re like Hansel and Fli’s the cannibalistic old hag!

    (I just thought, Dont you think Hansel and Gretel was too much of a story to be read to kids? And people expect kids to sleep tight after listening to a horrible story about someone eating human flesh for food? Are you freaking serious? How do explain cannibalism to kids?)